On the drive home from the hospital, I stopped at a red light. A brown woman holding a small placard was approaching cars in front of me, for some desperate charity. I was the fourth car back and my immediate reaction was,
“I hope the light turns green before she reaches my car.”
When I realized that would not happen, something I invented years ago came to mind,
“Is stealing theft if the gullible give?”
Given the speed of light our brain absorbs must acknowledge perception stifles one’s conscience to perform normally (i.e., the focus on the brown woman’s skin). I shifted my suspicion (about the mother’s situation) towards exercising conscience. Honesty is a given to be normal. This lady swallowed her pride in a way, I’ve always had the privilege to avoid (i.e., poverty), thanks to my family’s stubborn priorities. The ideal requires I exercise pride. Beckoned by my ideal definition of ideal, I reached into my wallet and pulled out a fifty-dollar bill. I rolled down my window and we faced each other (with mutual insanity) as we proclaimed in unison,
“God bless you.” We shocked each other with God’s love. Don’t you love when hope wins, or is that claim too religious?
What is normal? Normalcy is the hope one avoids conflict of conscience. One’s conscience is calculated by the fallible justice we define with(out) pride. I respect the prideless, even if it’s my own confession. To be normal is to avoid conflict of conscience. Normalcy is not a breeze to accomplish. Why? Normal people are sparsely gifted; so unique with this natural normalcy is especially practiced by serial victims. Normalcy REQUIRES you swallow your fucking pride to feed your family. Would you pan-handle at intersections to feed your family? To feed your family is normal. Why should pride influence normalcy? Respect? HA! Respect alone is not moral because reputation can be corrupted by fear, greed, and politics. Normalcy is pride’s road into salvation. I have pride because today I exercised my conscience. She had pride because she exercised her conscience. Are mothers normal? Moms do all they can, that’s all they can do.
What makes a mother normal? Marrying a charity case. Do mothers regard this as a mistake or a triumph? If the mother’s charity doesn’t improve her marriage (with free pussy), why should wives support talented bums? Talented bums just break conscience down into an artform. I call this phenomenon ‘Sardonicism.’ You may call it the muse. Home cooking humbles hearts. If males can’t accept charity (because of their selfish pride) that doesn’t make for “ideal” masculine behaviours. Boys learn how to regret mother’s charity from their fathers because fathers resent their wives with isolating hobbies. Normal does not represent the visibly present, but what should be; how justice is truly defined by the people defining ideals fighting fear, greed, and politics. Justice is normal, so why the fuck is it extinct? The Deviant Gene IS to be. That’s the sunken dread there’s no turning back from your lamentable nostalgia for inconvenient truth. Soul is your connection to the definition of the most ideal consequence of fallibility. The ideal forgave YOUR flaws. Isn’t that ideal great for serial victims? Is that normal? SHOULD that exist…as normal? Don’t you see through charity’s false salvation? I choose to be meek. To avoid conflict of conscience is to be normal. That’s why I’m not an evangelist. It’s my foundation to not care about my idea’s adoption. Death and old age always sorts out bad ideas.
Immutable flaw requires forgiveness if tomorrow’s humanity can be allowed to evolve normally. Flaw is normal because no one is perfect when we resent other people’s ideals. Is normal the ideal, or perfection. What’s more obtainable? Humanity loves to deny their flaws with delusion and conspiracy. Those rabbit holes CHASE the impossible. Debt is the currency of crisis. Maybe normalcy is honest about humanity’s proclivity to benefit from a crisis. Your conscience without fail, ignores your disappointment. Flaw is normal