150 - I have conquered neediness

Warning

I have NOT been in contact with Tabitha since January of 2018.  She has had NO input into any of my work linked to sardonicpoet.com, brainsmithy.com, my YouTube channel or my books.  The purpose of this reveal is to state I do not hold Tabitha responsible for what happened to me.  This is how I've made peace with this situation.  She should respect that.  One-sided affairs are common in the workplace, and in my case (in part) gave me brain damage thanks to psychosis.  I want to be an advocate for people who feel trapped like I was (in a corporate environment) and give them the courage to leave their job before they too get too sick to try.  I do NOT want my children to repeat my mistakes, which is why I WILL talk to them openly about one-sided emotional affairs when appropriate.

The intent here is to expose my one-sided account to explain all things I believe occurred.  How much of what I say is accurate, I will never know.  In the post below, I used a combination of my experiences with Tabitha, plus filling in the blanks with my philosophy (and generic womanisms) to describe her as a whole.  I think if Tabitha were to read this she would ultimately concede that two fucking decades of her presence living rent free in my head warrants me some liberties with the healing process.  I refuse to suffer in silence.  I want to be rid of her presence forever, so let that motivation (to move on) forgive any ill gotten reactions from my use of assumption and tone.  I can confirm that the benefits of publishing Tabitha's name has already taken affect.  Her anonymity was in fact holding me back from recovery.

Thank You.​

Tabitha, you no longer deserve anonymity.  Why?  You don't need protecting.  I am smarter than you are beautiful.  Your ego will reject this fact to keep you from craving denial; the denial someone with my intelligence has outgrown you.  Women are thirst traps because men fuck-on-command. You knew that Tab from the beginning, so don’t pretend to act innocent; you suspected I liked you.  If a co-worker managed to suspect I liked you…you must have discussed my crush with someone.  You don't deserve my wisdom Tab; fear that.  You are a fruitless-endeavour.  Why?  You're too fine to be married.  Broken bitches chasin' riches.  Thank you for rejecting me.  Through repetition, adults have programmed you (since childhood) ...to rely on your looks for confidence.  Why?  Attention communicates its nuclear bond irresponsibly.  Affection is fluid. 
 
​You know this, that's why you avoid being spiritually entranced (to the reactions of weak men that compliment your worth) without them getting to know you clearly don't deserve compliments; that’s your dirty secret to keep horny retards yearning.  You don’t deserve compliments.  On top of that a woman's worth ages like milk, which is why their worth is restored by the satisfaction of ignoring men’s advances.  Why?  Men fuck-on-command.  That’s bloody obvious to ANYONE with a pulse Tab because attention communicates its nuclear bond irresponsibly. 
 
That’s what I did for a decade in your friend-zone.  Why?  We are all incestuous-pedophiles.  Wait! What?!  Since you were a young child Tab, you’ve sensed (like all developing females) when grown men wanted to fuck you (with their lecherous leers), so you learned at a young age to control weak men with platonic friendships as a “defence mechanism.”  Only a WEAK person would express their creepy desire to fuck the young.  Why?  They never make a move; not thanks to  their character or morality, but their fear of rejection.  Only the healthy fear of rejection stops an incestuous-pedophile from communicating their desires to the young beyond lecherous leers.  Then why do women befriend predators?  *sigh* attention is attention after all.  That’s why we can’t trust a woman's ability to discern between right and wrong, weak and strong.  Why?  Women are moral idiots when it comes to procreation.  Why?  Spoiled with too many men to choose from.  However, a true alpha would NEVER…risk impregnating a post-wall whore (with sex). 

Now I... have the capacity to torture you (should you be a masochist) with my words the way Tabitha's beauty tortured me (for years).  My wisdom records the accuracy of my perceptions to entrance those who require entrapping the opposite sex (with platonic affection) to function emotionally via weak men held at bay by friendship.  A platonic friendship starves weak men's desire for dignity, while women like Tabitha are amused by this triviality.  As long as her beauty is a lightning rod for horny retards, nature's merciless decay to weaken men's worth, ironically sets up Tabitha's delusions to be toyed with by males she desires (who do have self-worth), that won't commit to her (i.e., pump and dump).  Why this pursuit?  To punish her father.  Why?  If a daughter does not use her father as a benchmark for a husband, her father's genes are self-terminating.  This explains in part the incestuous-pedophile phenomenon.  Weak fathers (like weak men) don't deserve to live, let alone procreate.  Weakness is strength without the confidence.  That's why weak men fuck on women's command; nice guys don't deserve to live (according to women who friend-zone men).  Who is the bigger pig?  A guy that fucks a hundred women (in a row)?  Or the women lining up to get fucked by one guy?  Good men respect virginity.  Pussy is NOT a casino.

Weak men end up marrying post-wall whores when they’re used up.  Why?  Weakness is strength without confidence.  If a wife never supports her husband, she remains in control of his strength (without his confidence to steer his destiny).  That's why alpha males DOMINATE women without commitment.  Alpha males know how weak women are when they get a taste of their own medicine.  They deserve to be.  They didn't use a good father figure as a benchmark for a husband.  Why?  Women can't date down.  Why? 
 

1. Women are superficial. 
2. Women know the fact they will remain sexually unfaithful to a man who does not constantly sustain them with masculinity; to fill the absence left behind by her biological father.  

 
Imagine how an absent father figure would influence a girl's affinity for masculinity without a good paternal benchmark?  Superficial (in this context) means a woman’s reaction begins with her enjoying the amusement of men who strikes out (with her); only the "good" women shake loose their love for amusement to empathize with the pursuing man's unwanted yearning.  Women's imagination will exchange femininity for their OWN "superficial" version of masculinity, to befriend and steer weak men’s strengths without their confidence.  A woman’s idea of masculinity is both weak and superficial.  That’s why women are mystified by assholes, when masculinity and disrespectful behaviour are successful strategies in courting horny retards.  Tab...red heads are the biggest of horny retards.  Why can't weak woman control strong men?  Strong men are spoiled with too many women to choose from.  Get it?  Women are weak, horny retards in "good" men's eyes.
 
Women know a good husband goes the extra mile to make his wife feel like a lady.  Why?  A women's superficial worth ages like milk.  That combination of masculinity and disrespect alphas offer (without commitment), means 95% of women are fucking MYSTIFIED by assholes.  Why?  Tabitha’s weakness is just strength without confidence.  Assholes prey on that because unavailable father figures satisfy female's affinity for a good paternal benchmark; thanks to absentee biological fathers failing to provide a good example.  Why?  Disrespect shakes the confidence of women's superficial worth.  A women's worth is seldom shaken because horny retards (men and women) are too spineless to master the art of masculinity.  Masculinity is an art form.  The tables turn on women when their superficial masculine traits program them to fuck-on-command (like horny retards) with poor examples of unavailable father figures; to secure a nuclear bond irresponsibly.  Affection is fluid, and that makes incestuous-pedophiles multiply by design.  Suddenly, aroused by the challenge of “fixing” an asshole (who isn’t broken), horny retards plummet their standards to maximize their potential to get impregnated to trap said asshole; to JUSTIFY the traumatic memories of an absentee father.  ZING!  When that fails, beta males swoop into the rescue of single mothers to marry post-wall whores, and raise another man’s litter.  Women are moral idiots when it comes to procreation.  Tabitha Steffens, you do not deserve my wisdom, fear that.  I have conquered neediness.  I don't fuck on command.