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471 pages, 136 chapters across seven books.  Remaining chapters will be captured in this journal.

7/15/2022 0 Comments

151 - Flaw is the denial our conscience loves to envy perfection.

In the end Tab, pity me that this is my idea of clearing my conscience; there’s no room for judgement when you can’t help but relate to the truth being exposed.  Do you have the courage to make that connection public?  I do.  Why?  I see humanity’s immutable flaw create delusions so long as reality entertains it.  What’s the biggest lie?  “I enjoy love.”  Yeah right...for now.  Love schemes with tragedy.  So long as you love, you will never be at peace.  Conscience loves to envy perfection.  Love is addictive because envy keeps us yearning to achieve the impossible; that's not moral.  That may be marketable but it's not moral to inspire envy.
 
a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.
 
To reveal the truth about your conscience automatically tunes us to the judgements of others being in denial that they (actually) enjoy love.  No one enjoys love dominated by yearning.  Why?  People that punish your sense of denial (that we actually enjoy love) thanks to the envy of those who believe fallible people are perfect.  Envy robs my love of its peace.  Bonds are made, but not felt without woe, hence poetry.  My bonds are driven from fear to be alone.  That’s not moral.  If you would do anything to avoid loneliness, you would lie, cheat, steal, even kill to secure that satisfaction.  By cleaning my conscience, I clean it free of love looking to convince me I enjoy it’s company.  HA!  No one enjoys it’s company.  I am smarter Tab, then you are beautiful.  Women sexualize their shame because it’s a woman’s advantage to inspire envy in the face of their insecurities.  Plural.  Why?  Having sex exercises a women’s conscience at the expense of the market of good men’s yearning to wed and conceive with them.  This is why the red pill movement began, to unify men against the prospect of surrendering to a women's love by envying a fallible perfection.
 
An empty conscience is a justified compartment.  Justified?  Compartment?  The conscience compartmentalizes shameful memories that can be triggered by a total recall of events.  Total recall is the sharp intrusion of an unpleasant memory.  These states are justified because in a moment of absolute certainty (our flaws cannot be cured) has neither morals nor denial.  Think about that for a sec.  “I don’t deny evil my time.”  No sign of morals, yet not in denial about it.  You are in denial of the fact your truth has no heaven.  That's your take-away as your flinching consciousness drowns in regret.  It’s a place from which unfiltered thought can communicate flaw effectively on a truthful level.  Why?  Truth exposes flaws (within the earshot of acceptance) to understand the denial God scripted for you.  It’s my truth that the truth does its best to communicate the forgiveness of flaw by ignoring fear’s tactics.  I ignore Satan's fear because I trust my intelligence to predict my hope (in God) coming true.  I hope my faith works.  Faith in Jesus is the only truth WITH a heaven.  How can I prove I have an empty conscience?  HEATHENS hate God when they are swayed by the relevance of what they deny.  Why?  You are in top pursuit of arrogance; slicker than shit. Why?  Heathens idolize the unfathomable frontiers of God (by Christian's accounting of belief).  Humanity is persuaded by God through the fallibility of love (i.e., a daddy’s girl gets her way); in all its ways to express God’s perfection to those who resent pain from their envy (to be loved).  How do we achieve peace?  Loving others (like you wish to be loved)?  No!  Those who will love others will be addicted (to achieving the impossible) with envy...do so by love’s will to destroy your heart.  Love is a (fallible) tool to convince gay people to procreate with the opposite sex.  That’s it.  It's not perfect.  That's humanity in a nutshell.  Evil loves to love lovers of love.  Get it?  Thanks to envy, love and conscience are not moral, that’s why you need Jesus with his PLATONIC…love. 
 
Jesus is our best friend. 
 
Jesus will NEVER fall in love with you.  However, he is the ultimate pussy-tease.

He died for our sins, to save us.
 
The son of God saved us, by suffering in Christian Hell for three days just to secure our platonic love.  Think about that.  Isn't the platonic designated for the unattractive?  But Jesus is/was the son of God.  Interesting.  It's a rejection of the facts.  Jesus was communicating, "I wouldn't bang you, but I'll sacrifice my life to save yours."  Who's the loser here?  Jesus or you?  Us obviously, because Jesus lowered his standards.  Get it?  How can a stranger be so selfless (without desire)?  Jesus is/was selfless because there was no envy in his heart.  At least not until he descended into hell.  Jesus grew yearning like a fucking hypocrite.  What did "the saved" do in response?  Smirk or cry.  Jesus saved hypocrites his fate.
 
If you must scowl, pity my ideas on how to clean conscience.  There’s no need for offence because I’m not trying to convert you to believe my bullshit.  My bullshit just needs to be heard.  Then I can die without regret.  I'm an amateur Death Doula.  A Death Doula clears ones conscience so you can live and die with peace of mind.  Cinderella-Queens are above insecurity.  However, we only damn ourselves with doubt. 

It's a safe assumption that truth travels back in time.  God exists in future of your flaws. 

God sets in motion.
 
Hell is home for a heathen; a home you are never welcome in.
 
Remember Cinderella-Queens to CONTRACT your infinity to fit through the narrow gates of heaven.  How?  Surrender requests God to forgive us, not mercy.  Ask for forgiveness, not mercy.  Now.  Release God's pain.
 
There’s no heaven that exists for your truth (or mine).  There is no hell, only insecurity.  What does that mean?  If we are truly saved, only our insecurity conjures doubt.  Get it?  Hell is in the head.  Biblically.  Words are witchcraft.  Jesus bypasses the written word and speaks directly to our heart.

Don't damn yourself with the price of being wrong about God.  I admit I'm wrong (and ask for forgiveness) to give me the humbleness I need to recognize envy is what's wrong with love: yearning.  When you are more envious than humble you yearn for "REALITY" to save you (instead of faith).  Faith humbles you to recognize God IS fake.  God is God EVEN when YOU don't BELIEVE in him.  God is beyond the Christian view.  Those that have no humbleness envy "yearning" to thrive in infinity a finite life.  That's a heathen in a nutshell.  Ask a Sardonic Poet, I'm here to help clean your conscience before you die.  I'm a Death Doula.  I clean your conscience so you live and die without regrets.  That's dignity. 
 
Heaven rips out envy from our saved hearts; to be rid of its schemes to acquire desire.
 
Repeat after me:
 
Heaven rips out envy from our saved hearts; to be rid of its schemes to acquire desire.
 
That restraint alone...gives everlasting peace.
 
Love is what makes us fallible. 
 
Heaven removes love to achieve our peace.
 
Be still, my heart loves God…
 
Love is what makes us fallible.  Love is what makes us fallible.  Love is what makes us fallible.  The infallible love...to doubt God.
 
Remove the love.  Hell is like love bemoaning loneliness.  Oh my Gosh!  Cinderella-Queens are above (using) criticism because they are never offended.  They can only pity a Sardonic Poet’s lack of confidence in the face of flaw.  Immutable flaw. 
 
unchanging over time or unable to be changed.
 
 
Tabitha Steffens represents John’s immutable flaw.  It breaks him (like clockwork) and that’s why Tabitha loves my difficulty to enjoy it: Thanks to her silent treatment I receive, a loves envy for perfection, is amusing to behold ensconced in silence.  Flaw is the denial our conscience loves to envy perfection.  Yikes Tab, I envy your perfection!  That's how attractive you are to me.  Yet, I don't care because I'm smarter than you are beautiful.  Tab if you were to reject this fact with arrogance, it confirms humanity has a stake in envying perfection.  You are not perfect Tab.  I know that now.  My yearning for you has finally stopped
 
The end.
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