That person that lives rent free in your head, will always shame you. Why? You’re giving attention to yourself, the attention you’re convinced they (always) “deserve.” Stalking your mind’s roots is an unfortunate circumstance of love. Love alone is not moral. Love is orphaned from understanding when we give addiction attention. If the one (you always remember) can’t maintain an understanding that emotionally supports you, you will crave unhappiness so isolating…you love to hate your perfectly selective memory; love the memories that you ignore. First, I revered the fear, then I hated it, now it’s a fucking NUISANCE. How do you deal with an aggressive nuisance that lives rent free in your head. Addiction. Addiction does not discriminate towards vices. You do not discriminate about the solutions you avoid. Repeat after me:
“Rent free glee, isn’t for me. There is no choice, rejoice. Solutions discriminate, why wait? Hero to my kids, fame forbids. This is who we are, ourselves. Could be worse. You could be them, Bethlehem.”
You know better that’s why your instinct to leave is/was correct. The memory you ignore is that addiction is a nuisance to avoid the memories that live to love your lust for perfection. Jesus died for your sins. Could be (much) worse. Satan LOVES your selective memory. Addiction lives rent free because you’re too lazy to feel you deserve redemption. Satan loves sloth’s sloth. The romance of time lulls us with the security (KNOWING without action) your life will better accepting addiction’s nature. You’re not perfect. Get over it. Be grateful. Could be worse. You could be them. You know something about addiction Satan doesn’t know. My life is so much better living without the romance of time paying off; there’s no such thing as infinity. That depends on your destiny. Do you like addiction? Don’t hand evil your autonomy with weakness because you’ll thank yourself for giving up; just this once... Sobriety is an endurance. It’s a walk in the park if you enjoy fresh air. Do you enjoy fresh air? Go outdoors. Go for a walk. Use the celebrity of sunlight to show the world life moves on.